has she found my favorite mole yet? the one on your neck.
did she name it carla like i did? have you told her about me when she touched it? did you laugh at its name?
were you smoking in bed when you told her about your last one? ms. turkish black eyes…the best writer there is to come. who hasn’t found a way to come out yet.
i wonder if she wonders about me. the way i wonder about her. i wonder if the thousands of questions running through my mind are the same as hers. is she soft? kind to you in bed? or do fuck like animals? can’t even wait to find a bed. does she look into your eyes like i do when you come? does she smile when she stares at the ceiling? is it too hot for a blanket? or just right when you open the window?
when she holds you like i do, the way you like to be held-does it feel just right? could you fall asleep or did you wake her up to talk a little more?
do you whisper the same words you used to whisper to me?
i can still close my eyes and feel your breath in my ear.
i can still feel your eyes on me when i close my eyes.
i can still feel your heart beat on my chest.
i can still smell you.
and i’m the one who is far.
i’m the one killing the butterflies.
baby, i miss the butterflies.