i can’t be with you.
not when you look at me like that. i catch myself acting like a spoiled little girl at times, just to hang on to that look and i’m not.
i’m not your average
i pity you. i’m playing with you. i’m toying with the idea to be your girlfriend and we both know that i will not,
i will not be your girlfriend.
not even when i’m in your arms, kissing you.
and you know that.
that’s why you never hesitate. because you are chasing a dream. and when one chases a dream like you do, she has nothing to lose.
it’s like an invisible shield that protects you from all the troubles that could befall on you. that’s why you don’t sleep at nights, but you are not sleepless. you are soaking wet, holding those flowers and you don’t feel the rain. you feel so powerful, so unique and so wonderful. even a rainy monday morning could not bring you down.
you think you are in love.
i think you are a fool.
a fool that asks me which books i like to read and rushes to buy and read the same ones. a fool that waits for me to order and then adds ‘the same’. a fool that buys me gifts with the last money in her pockets and walks half the city afterwards to go back home. a fool that likes my hair on a bad hair day and actually means it. a fool that opens doors for me and accompanies me to the ladies room. a fool that smiles thinking about me. a fool that wakes up in the middle of the night and watches me sleep, thinking i can not feel her eyes all over my face.
a fool that could give up everything for me.
a fool that would give up everything for me.
well, i have news for you, fool.
there is no invisible shield and i am no princess.
the fact is, i could bring you down, tear you apart, smash you into little pieces and blow your pieces into thin air if i wanted to.
this superpower you think you own, it’s your fragility.
you like to call it love, but it is simply disillusionment.
so don’t try make it any more special, interesting, big, romantic than what it is.
you are making a fool of yourself.
just get over it.